Rita Guihan SOS Grad

415

My kids were very vocal early on so we did not do much of the "say: Daddy" or "say: please". Now my kids treat anything suspiciously that they are asked to repeat (even poetry). Hence, they do not adopt formulas, though I would want them to have these stepping stones. It will come back to my example and hope they catch the right things.

Asking the person whom I have done wrong for forgiveness has become a sort of cleansing, for even if that person does not accept my appology, I admitted my failure and reached out seeking reconciliation.
I know that I can not undo my sin, yet I can always seek to shore up my relationship with my kids.

Some of my frustration lies in the vast distance between discussions away from quarrels (we ague in our book club questions of sharing, considering other's feelings, being supportive) and the stories I hear "in the heat of the moment". Thus far, none of the lessons from books or friends seem to teach my children. If I try to point out analogies, I get shot down: "this is just a book", "this is only a story", "their house is different".
Is there a way to help them see parallels and remember their own thoughts?
I am intrigued by the emotional scale. Maybe this helps my boys put things in perspective.

I really do appreciate your added comments and sample questions. Before, I was overwhelmed, now this role shift becomes much more tangible. Thank you very much.

Lots of work cut out for myself.
I do need to start by truly listening, and this is sooo hard, because my kids embellish / exaggerate their story by injecting assumptions of brother's intent / thought. Am I the only one who finds it hard to listen then and how does one get kids to tell the real story?